The Mentality of Scarcity

If you grew up in a home like mine, you know what is meant by scarcity. It is the belief that there isn't enough. I was raised in a working class neighborhood and attended parochial school. But, we didn't have enough money. I knew this from a very early age. We had a bit more as I got older, around 7th grade or so. As my father was promoted in his job, his income increased a bit. The trade-off was his frustration with rising in the ranks but getting farther and farther away from what he really liked to do. My mother stayed home and raised 4 kids, essentially alone. My father worked different shifts each month and we had what most families consider a normal daily existence only every third month, when he worked the day shift. I remember being hungry a lot. In photos from my childhood, by brother and I had big bellies and skinny little arms and legs. Starving kids look like that. I remember having holes in my shoes. Fortunately, we wore uniforms to school, so fashion wasn't a factor growing up. I guess it isn't any wonder, I have issues with eating. I finally trained myself to leave food on my plate. That took years. But, food is comfort for me and I hold little hope of changing that about myself. People say that money can't buy happiness and I think that's true. But, if you are happy except for the fact that you don't have enough money, it can certainly change things for the better. People who grow up like I did, never really know how to make money. Our father had no idea about investing or such things. There was never any money to invest. After paying the bills and buying food, there was nothing left. Everything I've learned about money, I learned after age 30. Right now, I am living in a time of scarcity in my life. I have just enough money to get by, but everything is colored by the lack of anything extra. People who live like this don't behave the way they would if they did have more than they needed. We tend to worry about an unplanned expense derailing the delicate fiscal balance. We go over our bills again and again, making sure we plan to pay bills before they are due. Recently, I have begun trying to change my thought processes. I stop myself from getting too bogged down and try to name all of the things that are good in my life. I really do appreciate everything I have. I don't want to forget that right now I have everything I need to survive. I am trying to live more in the moment.