People get too serious about sex. There should be more laughing, don't you think? When I had sex for the first time, I was drunk on my ass. How about you? In fact, when I think back, I was drunk the first time I had sex with each of my lovers. Sober sex is a whole different ball game. The first relationship I was in after I got sober was so intense. But as much as we lusted after each other, we didn't rush into bed. Now, I am really glad. The relationship ended abruptly when she couldn't handle the way her feelings had completely tilted her world. She felt unhinged by how much she loved me so quickly. Then she became ill with MS. Then, I don't know what came next. I think she fell off the wagon and then moved in with someone. Anyway, people should laugh more.

Looking back

Someone I know had a birthday recently. The celebration took me back twenty years to the time we met. That got me thinking about my life in the two decades that have now passed. I can see from this vantage point where the train left the tracks. At the time, I was so caught up that I couldn't see much of anything. I went all the way down to the dark and scary places that make us think about giving up. I was fortunate to have friends who didn't let me go. With help from someone very skilled at talking people off the ledge, I found my way back and there I have stayed. I wish I had done some things differently, but I don't regret the relationship that changed me forever. It ended as most passionate relationships do, with a whimper not a bang. At the time, I thought the ending of it was the worst thing that could happen, but of course it wasn't. Continuing on would have been worse. Today, I am at peace and sad to see my friend is not. Who would have thought that?